Using AI To Predict the Future of Texas A&M Football

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COLLEGE STATION, TEXAS – NOVEMBER 06: The student section is seen during the game between the Texas A&M Aggies and Auburn Tigers at Kyle Field on November 06, 2021 in College Station, Texas. (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images) /

If there’s one thing that’s become glaringly obvious about AI chatbots, it’s that they’ve never been wrong and never will be wrong. With the offseason now in full swing, I figured it’s time to gaze into the crystal ball of ChatGPT to see what it has to say about the future of our beloved Texas A&M football program. Is Jimbo on the hot seat? How will the 2023 season go? How will Petrino and Fisher get along? These and many more questions have yet to be answered—luckily, technology has gotten us to a point now where we can now predict the future with 100% certainty by typing whatever query plagues our minds into Computer Box.

As a guy who likes to cut right to the chase, I first asked—nay, commanded—the bot, “predict the 2023 Texas A&M Football season.”

"As an AI language model, I don’t have access to future information, and I can’t predict the future with certainty. However, I can give you an idea of what may happen based on the team’s past performance, current roster, and other factors."

This is not what I was promised. I thought this was the future.

"Based on the team’s recent performance, Texas A&M is a strong program that has been consistently competitive in the Southeastern Conference (SEC). In the 2022 season, they finished with a 9-3 record and a top 25 ranking. They also defeated the eventual national champions, the Georgia Bulldogs, in a stunning upset."

Disheartening. Not only did the Aggies not even play Georgia in the 2022 season—much less defeat them—they most certainly did not finish with a 9-3 record (nor a top-25 ranking, for that matter).

These are minor quibbles, however. My faith is unshaken.

"Looking ahead to the 2023 season, Texas A&M has a talented roster, including several key players returning on both sides of the ball. Quarterback Zach Calzada showed promise as a freshman and should continue to improve with more experience. The team’s defense is also expected to be strong, led by players like defensive end Tyree Johnson and linebacker Andre White Jr. In conclusion, the Texas A&M football team has the potential to have a successful 2023 season, but it’s impossible to predict the future with certainty. The team will need to stay focused and work hard to achieve their goals."

Doubt has begun to creep into my mind. None of the players mentioned here are on the Texas A&M roster anymore. Tyree Johnson transferred out years ago, Zach Calzada left after 2021, and Andre White Jr. has just recently transferred to Georgia Tech. How could this hyper-intelligent program have gotten all these details wrong? Could it be that I’m the one who is wrong, and ChatGPT knows something I don’t? Have Calzada, White Jr., and Johnson all secretly RE-joined the team since I last checked?

A quick sweep of the most recent available official roster reveals nothing. I make a mental note to keep my eyes peeled for news regarding these three players.

The last bit there falls under the heading of “technically true, but so trite that it almost doesn’t even count as an observation.” Again, not what I wanted to see here.

Onward.