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Fansided

Using AI To Predict the Future of Texas A&M Football

By Graham Harmon

COLLEGE STATION, TEXAS - NOVEMBER 06: The student section is seen during the game between the Texas A&M Aggies and Auburn Tigers at Kyle Field on November 06, 2021 in College Station, Texas. (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
COLLEGE STATION, TEXAS - NOVEMBER 06: The student section is seen during the game between the Texas A&M Aggies and Auburn Tigers at Kyle Field on November 06, 2021 in College Station, Texas. (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images) /
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I next decided to inquire about the future of Texas A&M football’s head man. There’s been a lot of prognostication offered about Jimbo’s job status following the 2023 season. Who better than AI to ask for certain about what will shake out after the 2023 campaign?

"[I]t is worth noting that Jimbo Fisher has been successful during his tenure as head coach at Texas A&M. He has led the team to multiple bowl game appearances and a top-10 ranking in the national polls. He has also recruited well, bringing in highly-rated classes of talented players. That said, college football is a highly competitive and results-driven environment, and head coaches are often evaluated on their team’s performance on the field. If Texas A&M does not meet the expectations of the university’s administration and boosters, it is possible that Fisher’s job could be in jeopardy. Ultimately, only time will tell what the future holds for Jimbo Fisher and the Texas A&M football program."

I’m beginning to wonder if what has been invented here is the world’s most perfect fence-riding machine. I just read over 100 words that told me nothing. “Jimbo has been successful, but if he stops being as successful as the university wants, he could be fired,” sounds like something you’d say to somebody who is just learning what a job is. At least the details are right this time?

My morale beginning to sink, I decide to inquire about possible replacements for Jimbo, should he lose the position of head coach of Texas A&M football.

"I can provide you with a list of potential candidates who might be considered for the job if Jimbo Fisher were to be fired: Matt Rhule: Rhule has a successful track record as a head coach at both the college and NFL levels. He led Baylor to a Big 12 championship in 2019 and has experience turning around struggling programs. Brent Venables: Venables is the current defensive coordinator at Clemson and has been a highly successful assistant coach. He has been mentioned as a potential head coaching candidate at various programs and could be a good fit for Texas A&M. Tony Elliott: Elliott is the current offensive coordinator at Clemson and has been a highly successful assistant coach. He has been mentioned as a potential head coaching candidate at various programs and could be a good fit for Texas A&M’s offensive-focused system."

I’m not trying to be overly granular here, truly. I’m not trying to get lost in the weeds. But, to my recollection, Baylor lost the 2019 Big 12 championship. Wikipedia seems to agree with me, but, as any good high school teacher will tell you, pretty much just anyone can edit that.

I’m beginning to lose faith in technology here. If ChatGPT is wrong, then why should I think Wikipedia is right? This is all just text on a screen anyway. I didn’t actually go to the game. How can I know for sure what happened?

Maybe Baylor did win. Maybe Brent Venables and Tony Elliott are still at Clemson. Maybe they both have “been mentioned as a potential head coaching candidate at various programs and could be a good fit for Texas A&M.” Who am I to think I’m more correct on any issue than this chatbot—doubtless the pinnacle of human innovation—is?

I’m suddenly struck by a thought that chills me to the bone. Perhaps we’ve gone too far. Maybe ChatGPT is a modern-day Tower of Babel, and, in our hubris, we have called down the wrath of God, bringing confusion to the nations. Have the last three years of college football all been an illusion? A shared hallucination?

This unsettles me. I glance around the room, my usually-comforting confines now bearing an eerie unfamiliarity, as though everything I’m seeing has, at some point, been replaced with a perfect copy of itself. Is this all in my head?