Week 5 SEC West Power Rankings: Auburn Rises, New Top Team

Ranking Everyone in Division for Texas A&M Football

Some men may tire of continually being vindicated in every opinion they hold with regard to Texas A&M football, the SEC West, and beyond; however, I am no such man. I think it’s great and I like it. Time for another flawless set of rankings.

Things haven’t been quite as bad for the Bulldogs since that noontime debacle against the LSU Tigers, but the fact remains that MSU has yet to win one since that game. Additionally, LSU has not exactly looked like world beaters from that point on—heck, they’re not even Ole Miss beaters.

Does that work? Did that turn of phrase work or did it sound strange? Whatever. Too late. Blah blah MSU isn’t good

Arkansas is still about the same team I thought they were coming into the weekend; it’s just that they have been passed up by a certain team that was previously below them. I won’t say whom, however. Tough road to hoe ahead for the Hogs! Though I’m not sure every team will be able to stifle them the same way the Aggies did.

Once again, LSU is about the same team I thought they were coming in. I predicted a shootout in Oxford, and, uh, we sure got one. I did not foresee their defense giving up over 700 yards, however! All that notwithstanding, their current ranking has more to do with them being passed up by a certain team that was previously below them.

I won’t say whom, however.

Woah, hey, what are these guys doing here? What’s—what’s going on with these guys? Wait, did you say that Auburn took UGA to the brink and led for a large portion of the game? That their defense is actually kind of legit and they have some really good backs? Woah wait a second did you really say—did you reall—okay, I’m dropping this bit. Not good

Congrats to Ole Miss on being able to put up 700 yards on a defense that barely has any real defensive backs! Not congrats on being unable to do literally anything on defense except smack Jaylen Daniels so hard once that he flashed back to a previous life where he played football in the state of Arizona.

Woah… what, uh—what are you guys—okay, sorry, not doing that again. Look, I am speaking truth to power here. The haters and the liars would put Alabama above Texas A&M football. However, there is a very simple calculus here: I believe that Alabama has a worse offense than the Aggies as well as a worse defense than the Aggies. I am fine calling special teams a draw. By my arithmetic, that makes the Tide worse than the Aggies. I am excited to be proved so correct on this come Saturday at around 6 PM CT.

Well, well, well… Who would have foreseen this? Texas A&M football atop the SEC West Power Rankings for a site named Gig ‘Em Gazette? It was really only a matter of time, honestly. This is the beginning of me extremely obnoxiously naming and claiming the upcoming win over the Tide in every single article this week. I am willing it into existence with the sheer power of my Articles