Lane Kiffin Can’t Shut Up About Jimbo and Texas A&M Football

Ole Miss HC Continues to Spout Off about Texas A&M Football

This weekend’s matchup for Texas A&M football against the Ole Miss Rebels brings with it the joys of having to listen to self-styled comedian Lane Kiffin. The head man for the Rebels has had a deep and burning hatred for Jimbo and Texas A&M football ever since signing day for the 2022 class, when Jimbo reacted to his jibes in a press conference, and has since barely masked his manic loathing for the program with a thin veneer of tryhard jocularity every time the subject comes up—and often even when it hasn’t.

Such a situation, of course, has come to pass once again, as Kiffin began to try to take more shots at Jimbo and Texas A&M football leading up to the game this weekend:

"Uh, I don’t know that. I mean, I think people said he was on the hot seat last year, so, I don’t know that the rally around-player thing works, um…"

You can pretty much see the gears spinning at 1000 RPM right in his lil ole brain trying to spin this one into a zinger on the fly. Unfortunately, what he came up with was “rally around player-thing.” Not one to be deterred, Kiffin gave it another shot later on in the presser, responding to a question about having the Rebels in the top 10 at one point in the season for three straight years:

"Well I think that’s kind of neat, I guess, three straight years to be in the top 10, but it doesn’t matter to me, except for what you finish. So it’s good that it brings attention to the program and to be able to do that, um, especially as you’re going against a program that normally you would think would be the team in the top 10 three years in a row with their roster. Um, you know, that says a lot about our players, our coaches, our fans, but—though, what really matters is, where do you finish at the end of the year? Um, you know, so… that’s our goal, um, to keep getting better, keep winning games, um, you know, we try to… you know, achieve our goals and not let others achieve their goals, and… um, I read where Jimbo said their goal is to be bowl eligible, so… [if] we can get in the way of that, that would be good for us too."

It’s almost impressive how determined this man is to make everything—even a question about how good he has done at his own program—about Jimbo. That’s a laudable level of devotion as a fan. It’s self-sacrificial, in a way!

As just a rhetorical note, it’s funny to observe the little spots where Lane is spinning up to take a shot—he just throws in filler like “so it’s good that it brings attention to the program and to be able to do that” or “um, you know, so… that’s our goal, um, to keep getting better, keep wining games, um, you know, we try to…” He’s just trying so hard. Bless him.

I’m honestly becoming worried that if Texas A&M football beats Ole Miss this weekend, Lane’s head might actually explode. I’m legitimately worried for the man’s health. Whether out of some strange grudge or inferiority complex, this clearly means way too much to him. They sure might win. They’re favored. But I’m not sure any win on the schedule—yes, including LSU—would mean more to me as a fan than shoving Lane’s face in it after all his cockiness over the last two years, especially seeing as Texas A&M football won’t play the Rebs next year. Here’s hoping they do just that.