Earley mounts confounding defense of Texas A&M baseball's poor start to the season
Things have been rough recently for Texas A&M baseball. The Aggies have started off 1-8 in SEC play and are under .500 on the season. First-time head coach Michael Earley has come under a lot of fire, and a recent incident during the series against Kentucky has only made things look worse.
These building pressures led to a tense atmosphere in this morning's media availability, announced at the eleventh hour. There was no release about who was slated to speak, leading some to speculate that this very presser was an announcement from the AD that Earley had been released.
What followed was perhaps even stranger. The head man for Aggie baseball strolled in wearing a plastic crown with a handwritten sign affixed that read "Mista Prank," announcing self-assuredly to the gathered media that the start to the season had "all been one huge joke."
"It's a prank, guys," he laughed, "the whole thing. Like we were gonna start off number one in the nation and lose this many games." He then put on a high-pitched voice, apparently imitating what he considered to be the media reaction: "Oh, they're losing too much. Oh, why can't they hit the ball?"
Earley then returned to his normal voice, remarking that "it was the most obvious joke ever," before musing for several minutes before his stunned audience about how "no one appreciates comedy anymore."
"People just don't know how to laugh anymore in our society. Everything is way too serious... like, lighten up."Earley on A&M's start in baseball
Earley was informed by Olin Buchanan of Texags that the losses that the Aggies had racked up, despite whatever his intentions may have been, were very real. Earley contested this assertion, labeling them "prank losses," before pointing to his crown and saying "I'm king of the pranks, remember?"
When informed that his crown actually read "Mista Prank," Earley removed it from his head, considering it for a moment before removing the sign and replacing the crown, mentioning that he preferred "Prank King," which was a different, third name.
The further the media session went, however, the more visibly concerned Earley became that these "prank losses" actually counted as real. His earlier bravado faded as he became slowly more withdrawn, answering questions one by one.
Earley at one point mentioned hopefully that he "never agreed to no take-backs" with opposing coaches and wondered aloud if such a clause could be exercised post hoc. He further mentioned that he would look into whether each loss took place on successive occurrences of "opposite day."
Texas A&M baseball takes on UIW tonight at 6 PM central.
(Author’s note: happy April Fools’!)
feed